when sweet dreams turn into nightmares!

i've been in dreamland {for the most part}
since anna decided to start using the potty 3 weeks ago,
just days after i accidentally took her commando style to an outdoor bbq
{didn't even notice she had no diaper on, i have issues, i know}.
at the very end of the night, my friend saw her lift her dress and asked,
"is anna wearing a diaper?"

appearantly she wasn't and hadn't cared to tell anyone!

after that night of freedom, i think she realized what she had been missing all these years.

she told me on monday, may 4th.
"anna has to go pee pee!"

and she did.


since then....

she's toured the globe using many, many new and exciting toilet facilities,

she's used our cute little "port a potty" {yes, i bring her little bowl ...sooooo handy.}

there has been much liberating bareback riding and horse bathing consequently.

we've had many mini potty party's full of cheering and flushing.
anna is LOVING it!

i share a story to illustrate her success....
one bright, spring morning this week, it was a dream to be sleeping away on that sunday morning only to be woken by her joyous squeal,
"mommmmeeee, i did it!"

"hooray for you anna!"
i replied as i tried with my might to go back to sleep.

WHAT A SWEET DREAM!


story to be continued below.

{*****disclaimer:don't even think of scrolling down if you are pregnant, have a weak constitution or have eaten in the last 10 minutes.}

a bit later i rolled out of bed and began carrying on as i do every morning.

while checking my e-mail and turning on K-Zion, patrick asked from the hall next to me, "what is dallin eating?"

"uhhh, i don't know,what is it?!?" i quickly replied.

that's when the nightmare part began.


justin chimmed in,

"mom, dallin is eating anna's poop!....
and he likes it!"

i surveyed the scene of the crime.

it was worse than i had ever imagined.

and way nastier

and way stinkier.

yuck!

then while enduring utter disqust i did what any mother who values the preservation of memories would do....

i grabbed my camera.

for posterity you know.


then there was nose plugging, baby bathing, sink sanitizing, probiotic powder feeding and milk of course...to wash it all down.



i have often wondered as a mother, could my job get any more disqusting!?!?

sunday, i realized it could.

it did.


have you ever googled, "my baby ate poop?"

well i have.

new and improved

no pile of dirt stands a chance against:

THEDALLINATOR2008

created by P&J inc.
(creating amazing vacuums since 2004)



after almost 9 months of development and testing,
this AMAZING vacuum machine ready for use!
check out it's list of features:

• one of a kind
• %100 man made
  
• operates at a variety of speeds.
• no batteries needed: runs on milk and edible organic matter.
• includes a sophisticated navigation system that instinctively locates any small items or large piles of debris that may be on the floor.
• cleans up easily with mild soap and water.
• it's features upgrade naturally.
• made in america.
  
• can also serve as a mop! (additional accessories not included.)
  

(illustration for demonstration purposes only!)

and if well cared for, in a couple years it may become....

a highly specialized "sock mopper!"


*additional maintenance may be required.
*manual NOT included.

*WARNING: 24 hour supervision required to prevent items that are improperly sized from getting lodged in the passage way!
*Sorry....no refunds allowed.

OH THE FUN WE ARE HAVING!

child labor laws.

i type in the title, press "enter" and then, WHAM! it says that i have a post.

it's not true.

but....maybe if you are lucky i'll actually finish posting this one.

believe me, i don't need one more DRAFT on my list of posts!

am i the only one who does that????

justin has dreams for the future

Someday I'm going to be like those guys that wear a black coat, black gloves and boots that go past my knees in front but not in the back.

Oh really? When are you going to do be a biker guy?

I'm going to do it after I get married."

Why are you going to wait?

"I don't want to look too cool when I'm not married yet or no girl will marry me. I'll look too cool.


hmmmm....
for now, i'm just thankful to have my little boy.

naval gazing is exciting around here.

so far, all of my children have "outie" belly buttons.

i was wondering why that might be...so i discovered this:

"One theory holds that the innie belly button is the norm, while an outie is the result of a genetic aberration. "

....and other useless information.

i don't know why it is so, but i seem to remember some social phopas related to having an outie as opposed to an innie, but i could care less about that.

just so you know, 1/10 of the population have outies.

but as far as my posterity goes.....3/3!

sorry about the genetic aberration kids.

not that as parents patrick and i will be able to relate.

patrick is one of the 9/10 that has an innie too.

i've got an innie and i've received no special perks in life...so far.

it will all be o.k.

it's just a belly button after all!

because of this commonality, they can relate and form some kind of sibling bond or something.

just think about it...NO BELLY BUTTON LINT....for life!!!

it's a blessing i tell you!

there's just one little problem.

dallin's outie is far more advanced and dynamic than his older siblings' which i fear may cause jealosy, sibling rivalry and a rift in their bond.

instead of a regular old outie,

he was born with a go go gadget belly button!

a rare talent indeed.

his talent is not quite as cool [or useful] as my childhood hero INSPECTOR GADGET'S talents, but close.

on a regular day, it is your average outie,

but when dallin gets really upset it pops out with gusto!

[kindof like a the popout timer on my thanksgiving turkey or an itty bitty ailien trying to escape it's confines.]

see?

[to demonstrate i just squeezed him like a little dough boy...
.you didn't want me to make him angry and cry, now did you!?!"

even when he is at a state of rest, it may decide to just sag a bit.

this thing has a mind of it's own i tell you.

his doctor said it might decide to stay in better as he gets older.

or it might not but they can do corrective surgery when his 2 years old.

NO THANKS!
cosmetic surgery is way freakier that go go gadgetbellybutton anyday.

since surgery isn't an option in my book, for the last 7 months i thought of other options to stop this button from popping.

somone even told me once that in some cultures they tape a coin over the naval to keep it in.

uh........no on that one too.

then, last week i was at wal-mart and i saw this stuff on the shelf...then it made it's way into my cart. i got home and told patrick about my plan to tame dallin's little alien with some skin glue.

patrick told me that i was very wierd, but i already knew that.

he also told me that he thought my idea was weird....which instilled doubt in my system.




so on my counter the good ol' new skin sits, but i am still undecided.

tell me what you think. i need your imput now more than ever. :)

do you have any pros? cons? practical experience with belly buttons?

HELP!!!

to glue or not to glue....that is the question.

springtime poetry

Julie, Julie tell me truly,
How does your garden Grow?

uh...Believe me, I have my doubts, you know!?!?

OK, so i'm not a poet

and i don't think i'm a gardener either.

yet.

but i'm giving it a whirl.

the odds are stacked since i live in a HOT desert.

a garden, in Las Vegas?

i reminded myself...it IS possible.
others have overcome our climate amazingly well....and maybe i will to.

here's a picture of our friends Kevin and Kira Barney's amazing desert garden...just a small piece of it!

i have hope.

and i'm finally getting around to something i've wanted to do for YEARS!

it all started about 3 weeks ago when i was talking with my friend melissa and she asked if i had a garden and mentioned that she was going to garden this year. i replied that i didn't but always had wanted to. i also went and looked at courtney's garden. and i mustered up the motivation to plant my own! then i realized that now was as good of a time as any.

so we got things started.

i learned as much as i could from here..
http://www.agardeninthedesert.com/


Here's what I learned....

Gardening notes

Water dirt once a day for a week or two, as needed, to get the dirt working

I would keep your very first garden small so you don’t get discouraged if something doesn’t go quite right.

I put my garden along my west wall to shade it from the brutal, summer afternoon sun

Your garden will need full morning or early afternoon sun, at least 6 hours of direct sunlight.

The soil composition is very important. You want to have lots of organic material, meaning manure and compost. The more dead, organic matter the better the soil, which means better produce.

You also don’t want to step on the garden dirt and compact the dirt

Don’t plant right after you add the amendments because the soil needs time to release all of what the plants need.

When shopping look for the words compact, patio, pixie, tiny, baby or dwarf. Just because the plant is bred to be small doesn’t mean that the fruits will be small.

If you want green beans you can get more yield from a pole variety than a bush. You can let them climb up instead of on the ground, using less space.

WATER: when it comes to watering your plants, you might look for a “weeping” hose. These can be found at Lowes’s and Home Depot. They use less water and actually give your plant a drip that saturates the root zone and water better than all at once. Be sure to water regular at least every two or three days.

SOIL: Make sure your soil has enough compost and fertilizer. Soil is important. Vegetables need a rich organic soil to mature and produce good tasting fruits. Remember, if you are going to eat it you have to feed it!

SUN: Vegetables need a good 6 hours or more of sun in a day. Without sun the fruits will not ripen and the plant will be stressed.

For those of you who don’t have any compost of your own, be sure to buy a good quality compost like Kellogg’s or a similar brand. The cheap compost-mulch is just that. The forest magic is mostly ground up bark and does not do much in the way of adding to your soil.

Now is the time you should have already gotten your soil prepared for spring planting. If you haven’t, not to worry, you still have time if you act quickly.

Now is the time you should have already gotten your soil prepared for spring planting. If you haven’t, not to worry, you still have time if you act quickly.

I also found some more information here.
http://www.reviewjournal.com/home/gardening/mills_tomato.html

can you say brain overload!?!

i got over the overload.


then we rolled up our sleeves and got to work.

we brought in some pretty dirt.

justin tilled the land.(while sporting every plastic tool known to man.)

we planted some seeds ..some of which have even grown seedlings.

[along with the seedlings grew some pretty tiny white worm looking creatures too.]

yuck. we threw those away.

then we picked up some cheater plants from the nursery....a little help you know since we got a late start.

we hooked up some cute little soaker hoses.

made cute little rows (which i love.)

then lovingly put each little plant in it's new home.
(most get to live here.)

(the lucky ones get to live here.)

[as ugly as it looks...this thing is amazing. it's like an earth box (but i made it.)
go here for info. no ground or garden of your own? then make one of these. if you want to know how to make your own, let me know. ]

all of which made my fingers beautifully dirty. pretty huh?!?


now i get to go outside and water and check on my garden..which is fun.
except when i notice some plants dying...already.

but i'm o.k. with that.
it's a learning experience right!?

and do you know what makes me happier than anything???

justin is LOVING every minute of it.

EVERY DAY he asks, "can we garden today mom?
and i say yes.

so that's the beginning of our gardening story.
there may be many more beautiful chapters to come.

but there may be just one more chapter....
the end.

but i pray this is just the beginning.
and if any garden needs prayers...mine does. :)

clueless

i have another confession.

yesterday, was st patricks day.

but my kids had NO CLUE that there was even a holiday going on in their midst!

no green.

no pinching.

no clovers

no clue.

which reminds me....

i have NO CLUE why we celebrate that holiday anyway.

i'm not irish.

i think i'm not at least.

and, this isn't Ireland. right?

so, i've observed this "holiday" for like 3o years now and i still have idea about it all.

well, scratch that. i've observed st. patrick's day 29 years.

every year cept this one.

oops.

bad mommy.

i deserve to be spanked with a 4 leaf clover or something!

i guess i could make ammends and tell them tomorrow is st. patrick's day!?

or not.

self imposed torture for a good cause

Dear Abby,

I need HELP! I have a confession. I like blogging, a lot. I have thought on occasion, " Oh blogging, how do I love thee? Let me count the ways." I've counted the ways before. Believe me, there are lots. Blogging is my drug of choice. It makes my mind whirl with delight to actually be thinking, growing, expanding, gleaning, sharing, communicating, relating and creating. It's wonderful.

But there's a problem I have. I feel like Ariel when she stated so poignantly, "how could a world that makes such wonderful things be bad?" Relating to my circumstance I say, "how could a blogworld that shares such wonderful things be bad for me at times?" Blogging never fails to cure what ails me, but I'm sick of it's pesky side effects. And I've felt more than a few. For example, I have Blogsession. You know, a blogging obsession. Sometimes, I just don't stop. It starts with just one little click, then before you know it, and hour (or 2) have gone by and I'm reading some stranger's blog that lives in Arkansas about making homemade laundry detergent. Then there are side effects of the side effects. It's not pretty. (See figure a, b, c and d.) Why is it that wonderful things are just so addicting!?!? The worst side effect of all is bloguilt. As it is with other things, when I overindulge, I feel guilty. I should feel guilt for Pete's sake, seeing how it's a natural indicator that something is amiss. So my question is, "how can I blog away freely without these unpleasant side effects!?!" I would appreciate any help you can offer. Thanks a lot.

Sincerely,

Julie the blogger.

anna KNOWS she can get away with anything when i'm overdosing on blogging.

did i do that???

poor lil guy!

uh...
Alright, so I didn't really send this to Abby.

I don't even know if Abby even knows what a blog is.

I just needed to write to somebody….anybody.

Except Dr. Laura.

She'd just yell at me and tell me to get over it.

Really, this is just so trivial that I would never bother anybody with this.

As a result I was left to figure it out myself.

So I pondered and decided it was up to me so find a solution to my dilemma.

Then, one especially guilt ridden day, I was thinking while driving and had the feeling that I need to limit my computer time.

I just hate it when I realize that I have yet another thing I need improve on in my life.

But then again, I do love overcoming issues and being in control of my life.

I had to come up with a remedy that would NOT resemble hitting the delete button on my blog or banging my computer with a hammer.

Instead, I've come up with a more reasonable solution so that I can still enjoy something I love without all of the negative side effects.

You know, a pro without the con.

My plan is a bit over the top.

Many of you may not need such a drastic intervention.

Well, I do.

Believe me, I've tried other means.

They just take more self control than I have developed.

Luckily I've finally found the solution for not overdosing on a wonderful thing.

It's name: K9 Web Protection Alert. Here's what I did.

• I downloaded K-9
  
• I restricted all internet access.
  
• I set up a daily time limit of a half hour of free time. (honor system w/myself…in my head.)
  
• When my time is up, the internet simply stops working and i give up....or log back in IF i can justify it! {this actually works wonders because it actully makes me stop, evaluate weather what involved in on the internet is really worth my time!}
  
• I also allow myself to use a 5 minutes worth of access if I need quick info like a recipe phone number or a map.
  
• Now, whenever I decide to use my free time, I just login, allow access for the half hour and that's it.
  

I've done this for a week now and my side effects….bloguilt, blogsession, and blogoverdose are gone!!

I can now blog away to my heart's content.

Oh the joy I feel.

I can do something I love, WITHOUT FEELINING GUILT.

That is, until this dreaded alert pops up. Over and over and over and over and over again. Until I just give up trying to click back and decide to actually decide to give in and click that little red x.

http://www1.k9webprotection.com/

p.s. this may not work for me forever.I wan't to know how you avoid bloggermania side effects. i can use ANY help I can get. :0)

p.s.s.....karen Kondos and other privatizers. pleeeese let me into your blog!!! i miss you! my email is morjulie@gmail.com

ripe and ready!

it's a known fact.

morris people eat, love, worship avocados.


ask anna....and justin....and mommy....and daddy too.

and since avacados are an iconic food here,

the green, fleshy goodness is bestowed

upon every morris child on the eve of their 6th month birthday.

the family gathers round for the big moment.

it's a time of love and sharing what we love.

i have such fond memories of anna's 1st encounter.

it was true bliss.

"bring it on!" she would say as the green gushed.

knowing his family legacy,

can you imagine the excitement and wonder dallin MUST have felt leading up to that blessed day?

his FIRST time eating solid food.

and there, in front of his face was his very own ripe avocado.

drums were rolled.

the beautiful green flesh was scooped and placed on wanton tongue.

and then, i could almost hear his dismay...

"NO THANK YOU! I'll have another order of breastmilk please."



c'mon buddy. don't you understand how amazing avocados are?

they even have their own website!
it's o.k. we still love you and think you are cuter than humanly possible.


don't fret little dallin.... no pressure here.

we will just wait patiently for the day when you join the morris way!

spilling the beans

patrick and i have been attending a marriage course sponsored by our stake [church group-not restaurant] on Sunday nights.

there is nothing like going to a class about improving your marriage to make you realize you have issues. not so much the big ones for me. just little ones.my issues are usually like a few grains of beach sand in your sandwich . yuck. [i HATE it when i am enjoying yummy food and i chomp down on a crunchy piece of dirt. it's kind-of a pet peeve of mine.]

i've got enough dignity to not spill my whole can of beans, just a few of them, so lets just say that i ALWAYS have room for improvement.

back to the story.

this past Sunday the main topic was on communicating things to your spouse. and seeing how i am married to a man [and we think VERY differently] there is never too much i can learn about the topic.

we learned fun stuff about.....

not giving unsolicited advice.
how husbands don't like nagging. [ha! i would never! :) ]
how to give encouragement.
how we should be able to say what we think feel and believe openly.
how to address issues without criticism and contempt.
and other good stuff too.

then, at the end of class we had an anonymous question and answer time.
i always like to hear the questions that others have because i just love to relate.

but then, the very last question [which was more accurately a statement] hit WAY to close to home. it was a statement that i wished i couldn't relate to.

as she read the statement, i just couldn't help but think, "that's something that patrick must feel sometimes." and then i started thinking..."what if patrick DID write that?" then i thought..."probably not. i know that i am a bit too picky at times, but it's not at that point."
and that was that. i felt better after i reassured myself, but i still made a little mental note and realized i could take the statement to heart and do little better about showing appreciation more and nagging less. [that's a no-brainer.]

the class ended and i felt a renewed desire to be a nice little wiffie.

then patrick went and gathered the kids and babysitter from the nursery while i waited for my turn to ask the teacher something to clarify.

as i stood and waited my turn, i spied the little question basket directly in front of me.

and it called my name.

i just couldn't squelch my curiosity.

i picked up the note on top, opened it up, and to my horror, i recognized it as patrick's handwriting!!!

emotions started running through my veins as i read,

"Nothing I Ever Do Is Good Enough?"

i thought, "could i really be THAT bad? why didn't he tell me directly instead of going the back door route to be noticed? if he would have would i have listened?" and so on and on went the thoughts of guilt.

then it was my turn to ask the teacher my little question.

i did.

then i blurted out, "and i just realized while waiting, that my husband wrote THIS question."
i handed him the slip of paper.

as he read, my eyes started flowing.
[yea, right there in a room of lingering people.]

and so did my mouth.

i went on, "i had no idea that he felt this bad. i really do try to show appreciation and tell him how wonderful he is. i just need to more often i guess. and he is wonderful. he's a good man."

then i showed the teacher how in my notes from the class where i had written in the margin, "i'm sooo grateful you are a good provider-very good!" [and i meant it.]

the poor teacher clamored to know what to say to this emotional woman standing before him. he did offer advice, but all i can remember him saying is that i should talk to him about it and really listen without "defending and explaining." i remember him saying as i walked out, "good luck."

"oh boy, this might get interesting," i thought.

i stood in the dark hallway of the church and composed myself, wiped my tears dry, put on a happy face, then proceeded to the car. i just thanked the heavens that is was dark outside. [mainly for the babysitter's sake, but also for mine since i did NOT want to talk with patrick about the note...yet.] patrick didn't even notice my red eyes! yeah!

-and so, i carried on with life.
-and i thought about why he wrote that statement.
-and i did some soul searching to think about what i could do to show more love to patrick.
-and I wondered why he felt so bad.
-and i felt bad for my weaknesses. [that i've not overcome. yet.]
-and i wondered why he made a statement during a 'question' and answer time ["he's smarter than that, isn't he?"]
-and i devised a plan - a way to bring up "the note."
-and i agonized.
-and i thought about all the times i had failed to say thank-you for____________ [fill in with one of the things he does on a daily basis around the house. like.....cleaning up the dinner mess and doing the dishes 3 days in a row without my help because i was taking care of little dallin who has been sick. or always putting the kids to bed or ....]
-and any chance i could find, i praised & thanked him.
-and i noticed how much he really does do for us.
-and i prayed for help to know what to say so i could right the wrong.
-and i felt disappointed in myself for all the times that i nagged him about ___________ [just fill in the blank. i'm sure i've nagged about it at some point.] :)
-and i realized that i need to be WAAAY more grateful for my wonderful husband.

then, this morning as he was getting ready to leave for a nice job interview [just an upgrade], and since spirits were high, i spilled the beans and said,

"i know you wrote that question!"

him: [w/ a puzzled look and a chuckle] what question???

me: that one from the marriage class.

him: what are you talking about???

me: you know, the last question.

him: huh?

me: it said, "nothing i ever do is good enough."

him: I DID NOT?!?!?

me: i know you did. i have the note.

him: you are crazy! i would never write that!

me: look. it's your handwriting!

him: you've got to be kidding me! this isn't my handwriting.

me: it sure looks like it!

him: look at how i write that same sentence.


me: you didn't write that?!?! [with tears in my eyes, feeling a huge weight being lifted off of my shoulders.]

him: they don't even look the same. now do you believe me?

me: yes.
[and i did even more after i looked at his handwriting from his journal. i was way off!]

and then, we laughed.
and he shook his head in disbelief considering how crazy and paranoid i had been.
and i felt much, much better.
and he said, you are just crazy. you should blog about this.
and i NOW grin when i think of torture i put myself through over the past 4 days.
and i have learned a very important lesson. [the hard way.]
and because he thought i was so off my rocker, and has a twisted sense of humor, he sent me this e-mail:

Morris, Patrick

3:20 PM (2 hours ago)

Does this look like my writing?

Nothing I ever do is good enough?

Patrick J. Morris

Application Developer

ha ha. very funny sir.

so, my friends, the moral of this long, ridiculous, bean splilling story is:

live your life so that when you hear the statement of an unappreciated, nagged, beaten down husband, "nothing i ever do is good enough,"you can say in your heart with confidence....

"my husband couldn't possibly feel that way, considering how wonderfully i treat him!"

because it DID come from one of the men in that class.
hopefully next time i can think, "it's not from my man!"
and what a wonderful man he is!

i have a goal.....
yummy sandwiches, light on the sand!

and now you need to spill your beans
....if your husband wrote a note in a marriage class, what would it say?!

remedied

it's this awesome channel i just found on you-tube.

(which i might say, was a huge blessing for me today.)

today

today is the day that i've decided to STOP pulling out my gray hairs.

i'm going to let go of my "inner child's" desire to pull out the silver....

and STOP contributing to woman pattern baldness. (is that even a syndrome?)

i'm no spring chicken anymore i guess. hmph.

soooo. this is my official welcome to going gray. (which i think should actually be called staying gray!)

here's to a million more.
(silver pieces of hair that is)

the jury is still out as to weather i'm going to dye over this. :) any thoughts?

i can tell you one thing though....

i am NEVER going purple!!! ever. ever. ever.

it just cracks me up when i see a classy elderly lady (in the temple :)) with PURPLE hair.

what's up with that??

valentine's day was a dream

see?

at least i can assume that he was dreaming during his looooong nap.
i'm just glad he just woke up feeling much better.

so good for dinner plans.

the restaurants were probably crowded anyway. :)

otherwise.....
there were some pretty flowers (lots of them.)
i got something for my "strong" man (soon to be stronger.)
could i be any more romantic? if patrick was a woman i'd be in big trouble for getting him exercise equipment. good thing he's a guy. :))
we had our traditional valentine's day breakfast (heart shaped eggs and all.)
i did lots of dallin squeezing (he is the most squishable baby i've ever had. and oh how i love it!)

as i was posting my blog...justin made my day. he came up to me and said,

i'm touched.

if you have a kid who LOVES candy like justin does, you know what i mean.
he couldn't have given a sweeter gift.


"life is what happens while you are making other plans."