when sweet dreams turn into nightmares!

i've been in dreamland {for the most part}
since anna decided to start using the potty 3 weeks ago,
just days after i accidentally took her commando style to an outdoor bbq
{didn't even notice she had no diaper on, i have issues, i know}.
at the very end of the night, my friend saw her lift her dress and asked,
"is anna wearing a diaper?"

appearantly she wasn't and hadn't cared to tell anyone!

after that night of freedom, i think she realized what she had been missing all these years.

she told me on monday, may 4th.
"anna has to go pee pee!"

and she did.


since then....

she's toured the globe using many, many new and exciting toilet facilities,

she's used our cute little "port a potty" {yes, i bring her little bowl ...sooooo handy.}

there has been much liberating bareback riding and horse bathing consequently.

we've had many mini potty party's full of cheering and flushing.
anna is LOVING it!

i share a story to illustrate her success....
one bright, spring morning this week, it was a dream to be sleeping away on that sunday morning only to be woken by her joyous squeal,
"mommmmeeee, i did it!"

"hooray for you anna!"
i replied as i tried with my might to go back to sleep.

WHAT A SWEET DREAM!


story to be continued below.

{*****disclaimer:don't even think of scrolling down if you are pregnant, have a weak constitution or have eaten in the last 10 minutes.}

a bit later i rolled out of bed and began carrying on as i do every morning.

while checking my e-mail and turning on K-Zion, patrick asked from the hall next to me, "what is dallin eating?"

"uhhh, i don't know,what is it?!?" i quickly replied.

that's when the nightmare part began.


justin chimmed in,

"mom, dallin is eating anna's poop!....
and he likes it!"

i surveyed the scene of the crime.

it was worse than i had ever imagined.

and way nastier

and way stinkier.

yuck!

then while enduring utter disqust i did what any mother who values the preservation of memories would do....

i grabbed my camera.

for posterity you know.


then there was nose plugging, baby bathing, sink sanitizing, probiotic powder feeding and milk of course...to wash it all down.



i have often wondered as a mother, could my job get any more disqusting!?!?

sunday, i realized it could.

it did.


have you ever googled, "my baby ate poop?"

well i have.

the truth...

"my mom"

by JUSTIN age 4.

What is something mom always says to you?
"Wash your pants" ....because I never do it on time. (yea, I'm mean. I make him wash his pants every time he wets them - which has been A LOT this week. If you have any ideas on motivating an almost 5 year old whom has been potty trained for 2 years not to leak in his pants and wipe his bum...do share.)

What a great pouty face...and masterfully smeared window!

What makes mommy happy?
When I do what you say and I obey.(yup)

What makes mommy sad?
If I break your sprinkler and don't tell you. (insert MY pouting face...yea, already!)

How does mommy make you laugh?
You say funny words like, "someone has a cactus on their head."

What was mommy like as a kid?
I did not see what you acted like. I think you acted like an astronaut.

How old is mom?
80....(puzzled look on my face.) mom, you are 80(persistently.)

How tall is mom?
70 lbs. (o.k. so he did pounds instead of inches...Thanks Justin!)

Whats moms favorite thing to do?
Clean the house when I'm at preschool and watch your kids.

What does mom do when you're not home?
Work on the house and take care of Dallin and Anna.(i see a trend here!)

If mommy was famous, what would she be famous for?
Cleaning the house. (i hope he stays delusional for AS LONG AS POSSIBLE!)

What is mommy really good at?
Sports like games. You are really good at sports like Hi-Ho-Cherry-O. Oh...and feeding Dallin, who is a baby.

What does mommy do for her job?
Watching the kids is your job.

What is Mommy's favorite food?
Spaghetti. (really?)

What makes you proud of your mom?
When you go on the toilet. That's what I like you doing. (i know...i've got seriously amazing skillz!)

If mommy was a cartoon character, who would she be?
The Beauty on Beauty and the Beast.

What do you and mommy like to do together?
Go to church. (i must admit i probed to get this answer. He first said, "watch tv." which is sooo not true, especially since the TV hasn't been on once in the last month (except when dad is babysitting of course)....a little wishful thinking on his part eh?)

How are you and mom the same?
We have the same skin, and both have hair which is brown. God created us that way. We'll also be together when we die.

How are you and mommy different?
You have a baby and I don't. Plus, I have fancier clothes than you. You don't even have characters on your clothes, just colors.

What can I do to be a better mommy?

You should not say "go to time out"....ever!

(In a tender moment one Sunday I asked the same question he said, "Wear more make-up and get some pointy, shinny black shoes." hmmm...not what I had in mind.)

How do you know mommy loves you?
Because you always say, "I love you" and I give you a hug.

and now it's my turn..

What time do your kids wake up?

5:30/6:00...lucky thing Patrick is the charge boy then!

On a good night, what time do your kids go to sleep? 8:00pm (that's ideal remember...realistically it is 9 or 9:30. yuck. when i got home from HFPE last night at 10 p.m., Justin was still awake!!)

How long have you been a mom? 4 years and 9 months

How old were you when you became a mom? 25

What is your favorite kid show? Signing Time.

Least favorite kid TV show? Sponge Bob...even if I've seen I for a total of 2 minutes at Grandma's.

Favorite meal to cook? Dinner...the only time I really cook. The other times I just throw stuff together.

What's the meal cooked most often? Vegi Stirfry on brown rice with pot stickers.

What is the kids favorite meal? Spaghetti

What are your favorite things that Patrick does with the kids? Wrestling with them and putting them to bed.

When was the last time you and your husband went out without the kids? To the temple 1 month ago...it's been tooooo long!

One thing you said you'd never do as a mom? Have a tremendously messy car like the ones I saw sported by virtually every mom (except my own)...What on earth was I thinking!? Needless to say, reality has set in!

Favorite past time with your kids? I just love the times when I stop what I'm doing to just hold them and love them. I love having Justin's big boy self on my lap. I love the bashful look anna makes when we cuddle. Dallin just melts my heart when he stares at me.Watching them as the snuggle close and stare at me with loving eyes is about as good as it gets.

Advice for a new mom: Don't assume you know it all....Get LOTS of advice and learn from those seasoned moms. Having kids changes everything. Be gentle on yourself and enjoy the adjustment!

When was the last time your kids said "I love you"? While I was asking him the questions.

What are 5 things that make you smile while being a mom? 1-How blatantly honest Justin is (like his dad).2-When Justin and Anna play together-nicely 3-cute bare bums 4-Anna's new use of language..all sorts of mixed up but sooo cute! 5-Dallin's newly aquired laugh. 6- I just love all of the new things kids are constantly learning. Watching their growth brings me great joy!

thanks, Jane, for the idea...even if you have no clue who i am! http://crazygoodlife.blogspot.com

when a bloody nose is funny...

i always have a sticky note handy. when the funny words come flying out of Justin's mouth i want to be ready to catch them. today, i did.

while in time-out (an unfortunate frequent thing for Justin...his mommy is just picky about not being talked to in a meanie way) anyways, while Justin was in for it...

he was being "picky" in his very own way.

the yucky kind of picky. i didn't see it, but i made a few assumptions. when he called out in desperation for a band-aid, i ignored him. yup. i assumed it was the typical distraction tactic of a boy in time out or pathetic plea for early release. plus, i didn't hear any crying. i imagined a sad hangnail or paper cut or something of the sort. there he remained. eventually he was freed. it was then that i saw the reason for the desired band-aid. justin got his first bloody nose (which i am NOT going to note in his baby book...which is mostly blank anyways.) he had wanted a band-aid for his nose....but had since changed his mind about wanting a band-aid, which i can only assume.

i noted, "justin, you had a bloody nose. can you go to the bathroom and wash it off?

then, he replied in the most genuine tone,

"can i leave this until halloween?"

"why," i quizzed.

then, he expounded,

"because, I want to be a vampire for halloween!
then i could suck my own blood."

i hope not to have scarred him for life, but, i laughed. a lot. hard.

after taking his bi-monthly bath, his childhood dream was washed down the drain with the the dirty bathwater. but, now that he knows how to painlessly produce blood, this is probably NOT going to be the end of the yucky tale.

so, i thank justin for adding some enjoyment to my day. a day when i got to: dance with two of my lovely children, waste nap time on the computer, prepare food for all, listen to lovely music on KZION, read wonderful blogs, smooch Dallin's chubby body, read stories to little anna, feed the mom juice to dallin many times, mop the filthy floor, run numerous loads of laundry and stare out my sliding glass door and enjoy the NEW scenery....and i'm NOT talking about the rapidly reproducing fingerprints!


isn't life beautiful...
and wonderfully hillareous in a gross kind of way!?!?

(photography courtesy of Justin Morris.)

One for the quote book...

I thought I'd share this...when I should be facilitating the toy bomb clean-up!

A conversation between Justin and I:

Justin: "Mom, there's a baby in your tummy."

Me: "What kind of baby am I having?"

Justin: "You have to make it a boy."

Me: "How do you know?"

Justin: "I had a spirit and Father Heaven told me he is a boy. "

Justin, after a pause....: "His name should be Ongja."

He told me on another occasion something similar...Something to the effect that he saw Heavenly Father in a cloud and he told him he's having a brother. Sweet, kind of interesting, out of the usual, possibly prophetic?!

I wonder how much kids really do know. We'll find out in a few months...but I can tell you one thing, the baby's name will NOT be Ongja!

For the quote book...

Justin has a way with words.....

Bob (a friendly, witty, cheesy checker at Trader Joe's) and Justin were having a nice conversation while Bob rang up our goods.

Justin was wiggling and jumping around so Bob asked, "Do you have ants in your pants?"


After a bit of thought, Justin replied in a serious, matter of fact tone, "No! I just have a penis!"

The dozen or so people within earshot had a nice chuckle while waiting in line. I just got a red face...and chuckled a bit about it later. Patrick has always wanted to use proper terminology...I wonder now if that was such a good idea!

Afton's princess party.

Afton, Justin's friend had a cute princess party for her 4th Birthday. What a cute little royal pair!

Justin received his first "dancing lessons" from Afton whom is well versed in the art of dancing. It was so cute. He just followed her lead. She is such a little princess. It was especially fun to hear Afton and Justin talking about TRUE LOVE in the other room. She said to Justin in a dramatic voice, "you don't know what true love is!" Justin responded like a man, "I want to know, uh, I'm trying too." So stereotypical!

Anna and Evan

So cute! Angie is such a great mommy!

Afton'

Discovery.

Justin rushed into the house the other day and exclaimed, "Look mom, spring has brought us such a nice surprise! It's a new rock!" I guess it's time for the living vs. non-living lesson. Too bad there is no sign of plant life whatsoever in our backyard!

He has lots to say.

Since I am the Primary Chorister I get to be in Sharing Time with Justin. Most of the time it's pleasant, especially when he says funny things like he did yesterday.

While holding a picture of a baptism, the teacher asked the question, " What happens when you turn 8?" Justin responded in a loud voice, without raising his hand, " You get to ride a bike with only two wheels!" Laughter followed and I just smiled. I hear things like that often.

He's always wanting to know what he gets to do when he gets older and prays often that he will be 5 or 9. In planning for the future he asked a 4 year old girl at preschool, "When we get older, do you want to get married?" He was pleased to know that she accepted the proposal.